There are way too many rant pages on the Internet!
But of course, I wouldn't be able to rant about that unless I had my own. Consider it a sinkhole for my anger.
And since I can't be bitter all the time, I'll pepper these pages with a few odd things I notice in life, too.
Biased Observations and Obligatory Rants
A Presentation of The Big Waste of Space Wanna see more?
July 2000 Previous Rants:  
July 31
I just caught a new commercial on TV and I just had to share it with you. It's for another one of those hair-removal products. You know, where they smear something on their skin, rip out a million hairs and act like it doesn't hurt? Anyway, it's from Australia and they call it — get this — Nad's. Now, someone from Australia should have consulted their American associates before trying to market this stuff here. I mean, ask any 8-year-old American kid and he'll tell you what nads are. And they certainly aren't something you want to associate with hair removal.

But, what killed me was their tag line: The Aussies have gone mad for Nad's! I'd better get down there.

August 8 Addendum: Get this. Now, they're including a video with your purchase. How to Get Great Results from Nad's.

July 27
Ever read something like this? Each wall brace requires four (4) screws. Can someone please tell me why I need the number twice? If I can't understand four, I don't think 4 is going to help me a whole hell of a lot. I just read this one on a Web site: We've been in business for ten (10) years.

Maybe we should start writing everything like this. Each (every) wall (room perimeter) requires (necessitates) four (4) screws (fastening devices).

July 26
There's a new gas station across the street from my apartment and it's so much easier now to gas up on the way out when I'm headed somewhere. But, since I've started purchasing my gas there, I've noticed something that those pumps, and I believe most pumps now, do that I think is a little redundant.

I swipe my card, I pick up the handle of the grade I want and by the time I stick the nozzle in my gas tank, the thing starts beeping. It tells me to push the button for the grade I want. There are three buttons, one for each handle. Now, the button for the handle I picked up is flashing. Which would mean that it knows which grade I chose. So, if it already knows which grade I chose, then why the hell do I have to push the button?!

July 19
All right, I'm going to kick off this rant page with something that happened to me this morning. It's something that seems to happen to me way too often here in Los Angeles. As most of you probably know, even if you've never been here, traffic sucks. I've driven a lot of places, including Manhattan, and this place has worst bunch of automotive idiots I've ever seen.

Now, in case you actually live in L.A. and you're reading this, I'll let you in on something: When traffic is slow-going — what they call here a "sig alert" — swerving from lane to lane doesn't get you anywhere! Now, I know that may come as a shock to you, but honestly, do you think cutting between a few cars gets you anywhere any faster than the rest of us? You only get a few dozen feet ahead of where you began! You get in front of one guy and there are still 6,000 cars to go! The truth is, with all the brake-slamming you cause, you slow us all down even more!

But, it seems most people just don't get this. For instance, I was on my way to work this morning and traffic — surprise, surprise — had gotten thick. (Incidentally, there is one unfailing law of the universe that applies here: Traffic will always come to a full stop 3/4 of a mile before your exit.) Now, I'm in the #1 lane, which is still moving relatively smoothly, at about 30-35 MPH. At least that's what I thought. Turns out it was just the SUV in front of me. Keep in mind, I drive an Altima. An SUV, especially one with tinted windows, completely blocks my view of anything ahead of it. And he is headed straight for stopped traffic. At the last moment, he swerves into a pocket in the lane to his right, leaving me barreling straight for the back of a minivan.

Even though I had been following at a safe distance, I had absolutely no warning of this vehicle parked ahead. Normally, the person in front of me would step on his brakes, I would see the lights and begin slowing in time. However, this completely brain-dead moron simply cut around the bumper of the minivan in front of him without slowing down at all, cutting off the person in the next lane, who was, of course, blocking me from swerving safely over. It was as if the minivan had appeared out of nowhere.

Luckily, I was able to come to a stop, although in a cloud of tire smoke, inches before I slammed into the minivan. But, of course, as is L.A. custom, the driver I almost hit begins flailing his arms and flipping me off as if I had done something wrong. Never mind the dickhead who nearly clipped him and almost caused my accident.

And if you don't seem to understand what happened or what fault it was of the driver in the SUV, then you're probably one of the people who does this. So, stop driving your vehicle like you're in The French Connection and be aware of the people behind you!

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Wanna see more? A Presentation of The Big Waste of Space