There are way too many rant pages on the Internet!
But of course, I wouldn't be able to rant about that unless I had my own. Consider it a sinkhole for my anger.
And since I can't be bitter all the time, I'll pepper these pages with a few odd things I notice in life, too.
Biased Observations and Obligatory Rants
A Presentation of The Big Waste of Space Wanna see more?
July 2001 Previous Rants:  
Sunday
July 29
2001
It's not until my nephew begins dressing in a certain manner that I consider a new fashion technique no longer just something I've been seeing at the mall, but something that has become officially a trend and a stupid trend at that.

Just yesterday, I caught him donning headgear in a particular way that I've been catching on TV the past couple of weeks. Maybe you've seen it: a visor, like those worn by many golfing pros, set on the head not only backwards, but upside down.

This is a style that, to me, rivals the sweater draped over the back with the sleeves tied in front. It's an affectation that serves no conceivable purpose whatsoever.

Now, just backwards I could understand; one could argue that it provides a modicum of shade to the neck, where I myself get sunburned on occasion. But backwards and upside down? What do they expect to do, catch nuts back there?

There's no top, so it doesn't provide cover to the head. The band isn't substantial enough that one could say it acts as a sweatband. And the only shade provided by the bill is negated by its position. It's a little like wearing underwear with everything cut off but the elastic and the seams.

Friday
July 27
2001
I just caught a commercial wherein a guy jumps out of a speeding car and tumbles down a cliff to get to a fast-food restaurant. Now, this I have no complaints about.

However, the small print at the bottom of the screen gave me pause. As the guy plummets over the rock face, the chain's lawyers warn us that this is a "Professional stuntman. Do not attempt."

I really need this warning? "Don't fling yourself out of a vehicle onto the side of a highway and take a nose dive over a precipice. Unless, of course, you're paid to do so on camera."

Look, anyone who's going to try this for a Whopper deserves what he gets. So, let's stop putting these disclaimers in commercials, shall we? The more chlorine in the gene pool, the better.

Wednesday
July 25
2001
I don't care what anybody says.

Tinkerbell's hot and that's all there is to it.

Friday
July 12
2001
Most commercials, as many of you know, tend to get on my nerves. But there's a new campaign that rubs me in a particularly coarse, rash-inducing way: two guys sitting on a couch, one asks the other, "Ready for a cold one?" and pulls a chain causing snow or an igloo or some such thing to fall on his friend.

There seem to be at least a half dozen versions snow, a giant snowball, snow with a guy in a polar bear suit, an igloo, an igloo with an Eskimo hottie and each with the same "punchline." And I put "punchline" in quotes because these damn commercials seem to be devoid of any humor whatsoever. And I'm subjected to them, due to my insatiable desire for television, about every five minutes.

They're so humorless, they're driving me insane! If I drank Coors Light, I'd stop just to boycott these obnoxious pieces of crap.

Then again, maybe these commercials are designed to push people to the point of aggravation that intoxication is the only solution.

I take it back...these commercials are brilliant!

Read Previous Months
Wanna see more? A Presentation of The Big Waste of Space