Just yesterday, I caught him donning headgear in a particular way that I've been catching on TV the past couple of weeks. Maybe you've seen it: a visor, like those worn by many golfing pros, set on the head not only backwards, but upside down.

This is a style that, to me, rivals the sweater draped over the back with the sleeves tied in front. It's an affectation that serves no conceivable purpose whatsoever.

Now, just backwards I could understand; one could argue that it provides a modicum of shade to the neck, where I myself get sunburned on occasion. But backwards and upside down? What do they expect to do, catch nuts back there?

There's no top, so it doesn't provide cover to the head. The band isn't substantial enough that one could say it acts as a sweatband. And the only shade provided by the bill is negated by its position. It's a little like wearing underwear with everything cut off but the elastic and the seams.

However, the small print at the bottom of the screen gave me pause. As the guy plummets over the rock face, the chain's lawyers warn us that this is a "Professional stuntman. Do not attempt."

I really need this warning? "Don't fling yourself out of a vehicle onto the side of a highway and take a nose dive over a precipice. Unless, of course, you're paid to do so on camera."

Look, anyone who's going to try this for a Whopper deserves what he gets. So, let's stop putting these disclaimers in commercials, shall we? The more chlorine in the gene pool, the better.

Tinkerbell's hot and that's all there is to it.

There seem to be at least a half dozen versions — snow, a giant snowball, snow with a guy in a polar bear suit, an igloo, an igloo with an Eskimo hottie — and each with the same "punchline." And I put "punchline" in quotes because these damn commercials seem to be devoid of any humor whatsoever. And I'm subjected to them, due to my insatiable desire for television, about every five minutes.

They're so humorless, they're driving me insane! If I drank Coors Light, I'd stop just to boycott these obnoxious pieces of crap.

Then again, maybe these commercials are designed to push people to the point of aggravation that intoxication is the only solution.

I take it back...these commercials are brilliant!