Simon is a guy who just has too much time on his hands and chooses to spend it bothering people through the mail.

I won't deny that these letters were inspired by the Lazlo Toth letters (by Don Novello) and I certainly wouldn't claim they're as funny — although they're not bad. (If you haven't read Don Novello's books, I highly recommend them — very entertaining.)

It turns out, after all, that I am actually the one with too much time on his hands and I began writing these just to amuse myself. But, I found that it was an amazing way to get free stuff — and the replies were far funnier than the actual letters. It amazes me that people would take this guy seriously! So, I decided to start posting them here.

I don't add new ones too often, anymore. I guess I just lost my muse. But, when I do, I post a note on The Big Waste of Space What's New page.

And again, yes, Simon is a made-up person. My name is Wes and this site is part of The Big Waste of Space. Simon is just a character I play in these letters. This may be an obvious point to you, but some people tend to get a little confused, so I thought I would just clear that up.